It's silence - something that's been in short supply since summer started. I drove my two sons to my mother's house in Connecticut yesterday and just returned this afternoon (the three-hour drive now requires a significant rest period before attempting the return trip). The boys will spend the next six days on a sailboat with their Gramie and Pop Pop - pretty much a perfect week for them.
I know that I'll miss them (I already do miss their hugs and sweet affection), but right now I'm relishing the solitude. Our sons bring incredible joy to my life, and I sincerely enjoy spending time with them, taking walks, playing games, cuddling together for movies. Kids are also a huge responsibility, though, and it is such a huge relief to me today to be responsible for no one but myself. What a strange feeling!
When I got home, I reheated left-overs for myself for lunch - no special requests, no extra work, no pile of dirty dishes. Then I took a long nap, without worrying about what time I got up or what was going on while I slept.
My husband just got home from work, and we're really looking forward to some quiet time alone together. We can eat whatever we want, talk about whatever we want, and even watch a movie together before 9 pm! OK, maybe it's not the wild partying of our younger (and healthier) days, but this is exciting for us.
Best of all, there is no background noise of non-stop quotes from Spongebob Squarepants and pretend pirate battles. We will dine this evening without once saying, "Boys, stop repeating that!" Ah, this is living.
I have had Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) since March 2002. Both of my sons also got ME/CFS at ages 6 and 10. Our younger son fully recovered after 10 years of mild illness. Our older son still has ME/CFS and also has Lyme disease plus two other tick infections. This blog is about how our family lives with chronic illness, with a focus on improving our conditions and enjoying our lives in spite of these challenges.
3 comments:
Hi Sue,
The relief in your post is tangible. I'm amazed at how much energy parents need just to get through ONE day. I had always wanted to be a mother but with ME/CFS your heart gets torn in two - I realise how having no responsibilities is the key to maintaining my paltry scraps of equilibrium. Sound like you have a lot of love in your family. I salute you :-)
-Ciara
Solitude is so perfect. It's like an exquisite piece of chocolate or something. Live it up! (whatever that means for you). - Jennie
Yes, Ciara, you've hit the nail on the head. Our first introduction to kids was when our best friends stayed with us with their 5-month old. By the end of the week, we were stunned - by how much work such a little person could require and also by how awesome she was! Our kids bring me incredible joy, but it requires a huge amount of my limited energy to keep up with them.
Sue
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